Saturday, August 30, 2008


Oh no It's Happened in Florida!!!!

Mass Casualties in Florida
Huge Storm Hits Florida today!!!!
Storm wipes out whole flock!!!!

Indoor Grilling gone a muck


Well this is turning out to be a bad start to a long weekend.... I was telling Val from Yarni Gras that I needed to get off the net and go fix me some dinner. So I started fixing my dinner.. I heated up my little ol George Forman... as I was cooking myself a KC Strip for dinner... I had the potato in the micro oven. I Threw the Steak on George and came back to send out some more emails.... I Smelled the steak cooking... oh my tummy started growling and my mouth started to drool.. and lo and behold when I went to take it off the grill... the George Forman had went Kapo-tooooot.

So there I was with a less than half cooked steak.... now mind you if it had been half cooked I would have suffered through it. But we are talking raw here. So I tossed that very expensive steak into the micro... Yep your right its tough as shoe leather now... At least I can say the potato came out yummy. I think I will eat the Potato and chop the steak up and make burritos out of it for tomorrow. Boy I hate to waste a good steak like that. The only thing I could think of as a worse faith for that steak was for the cat and dog to get it off the counter.... Agggggggggggggg Charlie Brown


I had a small flickering of lights as a storm is rolling in... I hope when the George cools down it will reset and start working again.. If that is a possibility.. who knows maybe its wishful thinking. Most likely wishful thinking. Well if it doesn't heat up tomorrow or later tonite when I try it again... I have to go buy a new one tomorrow.. "I " as a single can't live with out my George.. It is way handy for cooking that just one little lone some piece of meat :)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, LET ME!


The family wheeled old George out on the lawn, in his wheelchair, where the activities for his 100th birthday were taking place. Old George had a mild stroke, couldn't speak very well, but he could write notes when he needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, old George started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed him, straightened him up, and stuffed pillows on his right.

A short time later, he started leaning off to his left, so again the family grabbed him and stuffed pillows on his left. Soon he started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed him and then tied a pillowcase around his waist to hold him up.

His grandson, who arrived late, came up to old George and said, 'Hi, Poppaw, you're looking good! How are they treating you?



Old George took out his little notepad and slowly wrote a note to him...

'They won't let me fart.'

More about my house :)

I purchased this old farm house and the porch was about to cave in. As if I hadn't spent enough money on the house all ready ... Now these were unexpected repairs...(New plumbing, new heating and air, insulation, and some electrical work ... all done with in 3 months of moving in.) (My money pit!!!!)
LOL I call my little place:
The Oleo Ranch:
One of the cheaper spreads...
LMBO....
(not really cheap with the needed repairs right off the get go)
Ok back to the story I had to have a new porch. The old one would not do.
So when I decided how I wanted the porch done... I got estimates of the work to be done. So here is what they came up with first.

25 X 8 porch with two sets of steps. The cost from these guys were higher than Giraffe ears. I told them no thank you. I ended up talking to some guys out of the blue that said hey I can do that for you for X amount of money and here is what we can do for you.

They made me a huge porch 25 X 10, 16 X 20 extension off to the side, 3 sets of steps. The huge set on the front of the house was going to be straight up and down. I told them to angle them they said ok. It looks more inviting that way.
( There was to be a sidewalk leading from Drive way to porch. But as we all know things happen to detour our dreams a bit)

Ok Side tracked again on the story... let me see where was I???.. Ok you can't see the third set of steps from the picture. This set of steps leads to a huge concrete pad that I put my above ground pool on :) Now now people..don't get green with envy over my swanky pool.. it's ...A K-Mart blue light special .. at $49.00 at the end of the year sale. It's one of those you blow up the top rubber ring and fill it with water and there you go instant pool. The BBQ -er is on it too.
Next to that is my little (I mean little pond) " I had fish in it until this year I think the cranes ate them :-@ poor little fish!!!!!, although I had those fish for years... they had lots of babies (that I gave away) they were big fish really about a foot in length"
Humm Humm I keep getting side tracked.. on with the story...The guys also did a sidewalk all the way around my house and with the left over built a badly needed set of steps for my shed. And I got a set of steps thrown in too boot :) ( They did the steps as a surprise to me)

It had been an extremely hot June and July when they were putting the porch on. They asked me did I want the old cinder blocks removed ... where the old porch was. I told them heck no... I figured that would keep the creatures out from under the porch. (What a lame idea...the creatures still get under there) the guys were so thankful.. as the days were over 100 at the time.

So with it being that hot... I of course took them out cold drinks, fed them once in a while and told them to knock off in the afternoons if they wanted too. So I think that is why they surprised me with the steps to the shed.

If I had to work with anyone again building something at my house in the hot summer.. I would do the same thing again. People don't need to kill themselves doing a job. I don't like the heat of the day... and no one working outside should have to work that part of the day either.

I think that is why they invented naps :) We didn't have Air conditioning back when I was a kid and we always took a nap :)


Real Bloggy stuff :)

Hello everyone.. I have been reading a lot of blogs on the net for a while now. I think I just might have the hang of this blogging stuff. Or at least the concept of it. I think... I just might once in a while post a small or large blirp about me :) I think mostly the reason I haven't written anything personal in the past is...
.
1. I think I'm boring. I hear I am funny..but I just don't see it :)
2. I am a recluse... not a shut in... I just choose not to go out much. The reason for this is I love love love my home and I also love to sew. Can't do either one of those if you are gone ;)(I do work... so I have to go out for that) (DAnG DiRtY word!!!!)
3. I really didn't have the hang of what people say in their blogs until reading a million of them. Ok you got me there maybe not a million. But it sure seemed like a million ;) And I must say all of them had interesting and clever ideas and thoughts on them ;) I still don't have the hang of it yet .... but I am going to give this a try. I have read some blogs that look like they are written by Einstein and others that are... well you know the ones I am talking about. I am not here to point fingers or hurt feelings. If I say or do something that hurts your feelings... (Bite me!!) No not really....Just remember these words... You can't please everyone all the time..but some of the people some of the time. :) I am very opinionated and sassy. I sometimes stick my nose where it doesn't belong.. then I spend days looking to find where I left it ;) I don't want my little spot in the neck of the woods to be a big whine and cheese festival either. I want happy happy happy. But once in a while I might not be so happy. Like when the drunk driver hit me. That was not happy.
4. Up until now... I didn't really know what to say on here. Now I have made some very very very wonderful Internet friends. We share sewing ideas and tips. I even do apron swaps with them.
5. Its hard for a person who lives alone to come up with clever and wonderful ideas without having that daily interaction of others living in your home. So.... I guess you are going to hear about all the antics of my creatures that live at home with me.
6. So I say " Live live live ... life is a party" just like Auntie Mame says:)

The House of OZ ... Kansas
Everyone that really knows me knows this is where Auntie "M" lives :)




Wednesday, August 27, 2008

God Is So Good!!


After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed . "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!"

THE PERFECT MAN








AND THE WOMEN WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR HIM...

Item talks about sex!!! Don't read if it offends you!!!

An Irish woman of advancing years talked to her physician to solicit his help in reviving her husband's flagging libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor. 'Not a chance,' she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin!'' Not to fret,'replied the doctor. 'Give him an Irish Viagra. ''What's an Irish Viagra, Doctor? ''That's where you just drop the Viagra into his morning coffee. He won't even taste it,' replied the doctor. 'Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.' Not even a week had gone by before she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress of the experiment. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, be jaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid, just too terrible, doc!''Really? What happened?' asked the doctor. 'Well, I did as you advised. I slipped the Viagra into his morning coffee and it took effect almost immediately. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging proudly! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth a flying , ripped me clothes totatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me right on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare! ''Why so terrible?' asked the doctor. 'Do you mean to say the sex your husband gave you wasn't any good?'' Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T'was the best sex I've had in twenty-five years! But sure as I'm sittin' here before you, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Here are some more Ha Ha's for ya :)






Pocket Taser Stun Gun

A great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety and every woman needs something to protect herself with, right??
WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, 'don't do it dummy,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . WHAT THE HECK!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

Need I say more :)


Monday, August 25, 2008

This Video Just Cracks Me UP :)


video


LoL we will all be here someday..


But I hope not for a long time to come. I am one of these baby boomers.. and it is really amazing to see all the changes that are occuring in the world right now. Times were really simple as I grew up as a child. You had 3 choices of what to watch on TV ... Channels NBC, CBS, ABC.... not to hard to choose right?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Ok Gals don't get any new ideas... tee hee hee :)

To my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife.XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

I thought I would cheer you UP!!! (wink wink wink)

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO MAY BE HAVING A BAD DAY...


Feel better?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

LOL L@@K a book ..with my blog and Etsy shop name :)

I am now the proud owner of this sweet little book. Thank you Ram Fam for giving me the information so I could purchase this little book off of Amazon. I give you ^ 5's for sharing that information with me :) I got it for a song too... less than $5.00 ...YEAH!!!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Who said animals aren't funny :)


" OOO wwwww !!! I told you, don't pull my ears !

"Thanks, I had it done at that fabulous new salon downtown!"

"Everybody was Kung Fu fightin!"

"Must.......reach.....cookie!"


Titanic.......the sequel


A nip here, a tuck there........you look marvelous dahling!

" Hey lady, I think I found your problem!"

Do you REALLY think I'll grow into this???

"Aaaawww Man! I almost had it!!!!"


Is this your kid?

You got me for amusement purposes only, right?
(I had to look twice to realize this is the cat's paw!)

Gently moisten the area before moving in for the kill...


Please papa, don't leave me!

Here SHE is...

Here is the USS New York, made from the World Trade Center !





USS New York ....It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center. This ship is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft.
Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept 9, 2003, 'those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence," recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there."Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the 'hair on my neck stood up." "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."
The ship's motto? "Never Forget" A lot of people know how I feel about the good ole US of A...... I just wanted to Let others see what we are made of in this country!