What the Heck???????? Too funny!!!
1.WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
Leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter
Who’s lacking intelligence.
2.WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, Ca. spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
Himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that
The man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
3.WHAT WAS PLAN B????
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to
Drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded
To withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4.THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in
The cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk
And worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5.DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles has good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t
Control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
Repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “That’s
Not what I said!”.
6.ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”.
“Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”
7.NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a
Gun…Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8.THE GRAND FINALE!!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of
Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter
How hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was
Very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
Thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough
Topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
The out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
Choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in
Place, was the trailer!....
1.WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
Leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter
Who’s lacking intelligence.
2.WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, Ca. spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
Himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that
The man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
3.WHAT WAS PLAN B????
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to
Drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded
To withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4.THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in
The cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk
And worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5.DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles has good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t
Control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
Repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “That’s
Not what I said!”.
6.ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”.
“Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”
7.NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a
Gun…Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8.THE GRAND FINALE!!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of
Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter
How hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was
Very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
Thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough
Topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
The out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
Choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in
Place, was the trailer!....
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