Friday, September 26, 2008

One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman.....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

*** Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

Sunday, September 21, 2008

2008 Retirement Planning .. Advice :)


If you had
purchased $1,000.00

of Nortel Stock one year ago,

it would now be worth $49.00

With Enron,

you would have had $16.50

left of the original $1,000.00

With Worldcom,

you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock

you would have $36.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00

worth of beer one year ago,

drank all the beer, then turned in the cans

for the aluminum

recycling REFUND,

you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above,

the best current investment advice is to

drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the

401-Keg plan.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

I remember you ..... With honor.. I am sending prayers out to the families of 9-11

I am a first Responder and part of the Law Enforcement Community...I will never forget this tragic day. May all of our fallen heros be remember.
Prayers to those that have lost loved ones and Prayers to our Armed Forces that are still fighting to protect in what the USA believes in.
Peace and Blessings to you all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Write IN Candidate.. I just love this guy!!! true statments???? but a fun read :)


(1) "Press 1 for English" is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

You Go Charlie Daniels.. I don't know if he really wrote this or not...but its a great read :)

Guns and Church

Since I identify with the people who fall into Barrack Obama's elitist description about people of faith who keep firearms.

I'm not very happy with Barrack Obama's recent remarks. He said something to the effect that us rednecks cling to our guns and our religion when we get frustrated. I would like to take umbrage to these remarks. My faith goes much deeper than his superficial explanation and I love my guns even when I'm not frustrated.

I am not by myself. I was going to church and shooting guns before Mr. Obama was even born and come from a long line of good people who have been doing it for generations.

To me this latest Obama blunder only helps reveal the depth of condescension the far left wing of the Democrat party has for the folks out here in flyover country.

Mr. Obama's remarks are insulting to a lot of folks. It's kind of like Abraham Lincoln said, 'God must love the common people because He made so many of them'.

His remarks make me think that Obama doesn't know the people of this country very well. I'm sure he knows the jet set and the Hollywood bunch, the limousine liberals and the save the whales, kill the babies crowd, but does he think that the ordinary people don't count? Does he think that they're so stupid that they don't know who he's talking about when He says these things? Does he think their opinions aren't important? Apparently.

How can a man stand in front of America and tell people what he wants to do for them and have so little respect for a whole segment of the population? In fact, a very large segment. Does that mean that he would only represent the high-minded liberal ideals of the far left and ignore the rest of us?

What kind of Commander and Chief would he make if he doesn't respect the very people who make up the lion's share of the armed forces? You may say I'm over reacting, but I'm getting sick and tired of him making these elitist statements and saying that he had been taken out of context or some other flimsy excuse.

After his wife's remark about not being proud of this country and his pastor's statements calling America the U.S.K.K.K.A. And his own statement about not wanting his daughter punished with a baby, it makes me wonder what kind of a man Obama really is and what kind of a president He'd make.Would he be an antigun advocate pushing the effort to take the firearms out of innocent citizen's hands? Would he not respect the religious beliefs of America, not taking them into account in his agenda?

I really don't know much about the man and neither does America. He basically came from out of nowhere and as the facts come out little by by little, they don't make a particularly confident picture.

I have a great fear that if our military gets broken by another President, this time we're not going to have time to fix it again and what that spells for America, I don't even want to contemplate.

Oh well, I guess I'll grab my gun and go to church.

Pray for our troops. What do you think?

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels

Monday, September 8, 2008

Aunt Pitty Pat's has received another wonderful award!!!

Ginger from Lovestodream gave me this wonderful award. I am a bit late posting about it... Ginger I am so sorry it has taken me so long to post my wonderful award. I want to give you a heart felt thank you.
Ginger has bestowed this award upon me, with the condition that I pass it on to seven other bloggers whom I think deserve it. I know I have Eight blogs.. but I could not leave out Ginger :)
1. I know you already have an award but one of my choices is
You Ginger at Lovestodream :)

2. Shawnees Tangled Tales

3. Jennifer at Lip Stick and Laundry

4. Queen of the Click at

5. Val at Yarni Gras

6. Deanna at Domestic Chicky

7. Leah at RamFaminnova

8. Judy at Judy's post cards plus

Please take your award and know we love you and all the hard work you put into your blogs.
For all you that see this award know its an honor to get it and shows the love they show us on there blogs.

Weekend events :)

Well it has been a very busy weekend around my house. I got a call last Tuesday that my Gracy Pinnacle Quilting Frame was in. As luck would have it I was busy all week and could not go pick it up. Besides I knew I would need help so I had to wait until the weekend.

Bad move waiting for the weekend. It was raining frogs and tad poles at my house Thursday, Friday, and Sat. I have a truck!!!! no bed cover:(

So I did what any smart person would do... I called my (Bubba) brother to come help.

No....... first off I have to tell you he doesn't have a cover on his truck either. He doesn't even have a van.... but he has: a hearse... yes you read that right he has a hearse... we went to pick up my frame in a hearse.

We pull up to this sewing shop full of women in a big white hearse. You should have seen the crazy looks we got :) it was rather funny!!! Anyway the woman that owned the shop helped like that was an everyday thing. Seeing people pull up to her shop in a hearse.

The owner of shop and I were standing at the counter when my brother walked in... she looked up and smiled that quirky smile like.... Awe... am I suppose to be friendly or scared.

Now let me give you an idea of what Bubba looks like.

He is over 6 ft... and about 225 in weight. Facial hair about a foot long and hair almost to his butt in a pony tail. Wearing that I'm a bad Azz attitude... Biker? Not really just a Poor side of town sort of guy. Kinda like James Dean, and Dirty Harry mixed together. The looks of someone you would not want to cross.... get my picture here...

Well anyway this woman was just a jewel to him. Got him a two wheelie and helped him load the two boxes on the two wheelie. Just chattin him up all the way out the door. They both came back in laughing like old friends. Now wasn't that just sweet :o)

My big bad azz brother has that affect on everyone he meets. Really he is just this good ole country boy if you got to know him. He cracks me up all the time.

Oh there I go again off the story.... any who ha... back to the story.

So here we are driving around in his very nice white hearse. We went to lunch, stopped by the stop and rob and got a Pepsi... It really was quite fun ridding around in it. Most people say "I wouldn't even ride in one of those if I was dead" Now what kinda stupid statement is that? Are they going to have the Pal bares carry them by hand on their shoulders all the way to cemetery? Or on the back of a lumber truck???

Ok! Ok! I know get on with it :)

This car is like an extended Cadillac... which this hearse was a Caddy by the way. The seats were soft and comfortable, the stereo was factory and it had the sound of a theater right there in the front seat with you. Not to forget the smooth gliding ride... Yep has me convinced to own one. It rode better than any limo I have ever ridden in.

On the way home..... Bubba asked "Are you going to be able to put this together?"

Me the smart azz cowgrl that I am stated " Yep I'm a woman I can read instructions" I thought my brother was going to S and fall back in it. His girlfriend, is laughing so hard I thought she would pee her self :) Of course I got my usual retort from him... SMART AZZ!! get in the car!!!

Bubba brought me home and carried in the two heavy boxes. I started putting the frame together. I opened both boxes... saw all the little parts and said to myself: Piece of Cake...I'm standing there on one leg and one finger stuck up my nose.. thinking to my self.. stupid stupid girl that's a rocket scientists job.

It!!!!! read my words... It took me almost 9 hours to put that thing together. I tell you it must have been Purple little trolls that wrote out those instructions, and the helpful video was made from the man on mars. Neither video or instructions matched. I tell you who ever writes out these instructions.. they need to put one together as they write the instructions out. Because.... the ones I had didn't make any sense. I put one step together and 2 steps down the road I had to take it all apart...because there was a part missing or put on backwards by the instructions.

So I as any well adjusted female... I turned on the video disc and watched it over and over again.. until I got the hang of it and started putting the frame together by looking at the parts. Just like I would in making a dress. Since most sewing patterns don't make sense either. (must be written by men that do not sew) So anyway I got that frame together in about 2 hours my way and its perfect!!! I love it.... here is my new baby in my living room ... takes up the entire ... I mean entire living room but I love it :) Its the only room in my house long enough for her to fit in. That is even a tight squeeze :)

I have to go today and by muslin for the leaders... then I can start creating with my new baby :) I am sew excited!!!!!

Three southern boys (curse word in story)

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Cooter said,
'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said,
'Nope, Ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in, to confirm.
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said,
'No, it Ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen em,' but everybody used to say,

"There's Bubba with them two assholes."

Friday, September 5, 2008

Other useful ways of doing things

Yeah its the end of the week. No more PT appointments and no more Dr appointments for this week.....It seems like I am at one or the other everyday of the week. Ugh I want to stay home!!!
I had a PT appointment this morning and got my TENS unit to help shock my muscles to try and help release them.
If no one knows what I am talking about ... I was in an auto accident in June involving a Drunk Driver. I was injured and am still being treated.
Why I am writing this post????? ...............
We put the tens unit on for the first time today. Its a little device that when turned on it shocks your muscles. Believe it or not it feels pretty good. Anyway.... I had to take off the electrodes when I got home.... Now this was no easy task. I wonder to myself why in the world would they put that silly thing where I could not grasp it??? You know just right there in the middle of your back. That area you can never seem to scratch by yourself. Try as I might I could not get my hand in the area where it needed to be to grasp that little round sticky and gooey circle. Do you think it could be because I am old and don't bend that way anymore? Heck I'm not part of the circus ... here I am jumping around trying to get this thing that is stuck to me off.. I stood on my head .. I'm rolling on the floor like a beached whale...I layed down.... I twist.... I turn...I had to get this little disk can't wear them when you shower.
I could see it now.. Headline news... stupid woman shocked to death in her own shower by tens unit.... Now I would be on the Darwin list of stupid things!!!!!
Oh back to story... why do I always get side tracked writing these things????
Anyway here I am stuck with this electrode on my back... what to do???? what to do??? Well since I have no one to help in the immediate area... like any well adjusted woman I took matters into my own hands... since I could not reach it with my fingers... Yes you guessed it.....I grabbed a set of tongs from the kitchen drawer...
Yeah it worked out just perfect. I am quite proud of myself being able to remove that little electrode all by myself. Now I know how to get it back on and into the right place too :)
So if anyone has other fun and useful ways to use other items intended for other uses please comment.. I would love to hear some of your ideas :)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Here is my Sweet Girl that turned 26 this year

Here are photos of me and my little girl when she was in her prime. We use to Team Pen together. It was a lot of fun for this ole cowgirl. My horse loved to pen those cattle. She would literally jump into the trailer every Sat night to go pen.

She is now turned out to pasture to take it easy for the remaining years of her life. I don't think that will be very many more as she has lost a ton of weight this summer and she is moving very slowly. I am feeding her equine senior food and supplements to try and get her pumped back up to make it through the cold winters of Oz Ks. But I don't know if that is going to do her any good either. She does seem to be improving.. or at least my brain has wishful thinking when I look at her.

I hope you enjoy looking at me and her as we have been a team for over 20 years now.

I will be very devastated when she passes. I have trusted her with my life and she has trusted me with hers for so many years. I wake up and the first thing I do is look out the window to see if my equine kids are all up and moving about. It is sure a pretty site to be hold. Not everyone can have such a majestic animal in their backyard. I am truly blessed.