Monday, April 12, 2010

A tearful Goodbye

Gillee
AKA: Swiss Miss
My 1st owned,
and my greatest Champion!
I love you and I will miss you dearly.

I had to get up very early this morning to meet a man that I knew nothing about. This wonderful kind stranger agreed to help me take my old sweet girl to the vets for one last time. I am always so amazed at the kindness of strangers. When you are really down and need the help ... there will always be that kind stranger who is willing to help you when needed.
Thank you kind stranger!!!
I had called Doc last week and told him I think its time to make some hard decisions regarding my sweet Gillee. I told D0c that she needs to come see you, one last time. She is loosing weight faster than I can keep it on her. Doc agreed with me and said that was a good decision on my part. He was concerned with her having a stroke or me finding her out in the pasture in worse shape. I told Doc that I could not do this at the oleo ranch, it was just too hard. I also told him I didn't have means to bring her in to the clinic. I inquired if he could come and get her. He told me he thought he could find someone that was willing to help.

Over the course of this last week I have made a new friend.. Pat has been so kind and giving to me. She was willing to help me anyway she could regarding my old girl. We chatted 4 or 5 times and she told me that she had a hand she would send to help me. The hand showed up right on time and was very sweet polite and very kind and gentle with me and my old girl. Gillee loaded up without incident and the total stranger.. and I tell you I still do not know the mans name... he drove my little girl down the road like she was fine porcelain... he drove with caution and care. I am so thankful to these total strangers for helping me in this very difficult time .. I don't know if I could have done it without them.
I received their gentle encouragement and unwavering support.

I know I did the right thing.. but it is very hard after you have been loving and caring for a creature for over 21 years to have to come to this final decision. Gillee came to live with me when she was six, and we have had wonderful loving times together. I spent countless hours with my girl. She taught me so many great things in life... Mostly she taught me unwavering love and kindness. She was always gentle, sweet and loved me unconditionally. She always looked forward to me coming out to the pasture to see her. Whether we were going to a horse show or riding down the road.. or just playing tag in the lot...she was happy to see me.
I tell you my sweet friends I don't really know what is breaking my heart the most right now.. having to say good by to my sweet Gillee girl or her baby boy standing out at the pasture gate pawing at it and squealing. Wanting her to come to him.
I asked Nadine yesterday on the phone.. when did she think the sad and bad things were going to stop haunting me! Nadine agree it was time that some good should come into my life and soon. So ladies keep my sweet Gillee Girl in your thoughts and prayers, and don't forget to throw in a few good thoughts for wonderful things to happen in my life too! I could surly use some good times again!
Hugs
M

Update:
Gillee's Baby Boy 6 hours later was still having a very hard go of his mom being gone. He is still squealing and striking out at the gate and rearing and tearing it up out in the pasture. The last time he got upset like that we had to call the vet out and give him 37 stitches across his forehead and face. I am so worried about him. I finally called the vet and we decided for the best interest of the horse.... we have sedated him. He is now out in the pasture looking like a drunk little ole man. All cross eyed and woozy. He is only squealing once in a while now. I am hoping this drunk will stay on for a while..... so he will have a tad bit of time in getting accustom to his mom being gone.. Poor Poor little guy.

24 comments:

Jane's Fabrics and Quilts said...

I can imagine how hard that was. Maybe you and Pitty could go and play with her little guy. It might help both of you. I am so glad that she had such kindness at her time.

Shana said...

I am so sorry for your loss. We have horses and have had to put a few down over the years. it is never easy no matter what shape they are in. I will pray for your comfort.

Sherry said...

So sorry to hear about you little girl you will be all in my prayers and thoughts. I can't emagain how your feeling.

Barb said...

I am so sorry, such a long time companion....I will send good thoughts your way with lots of hugs....

gin said...

I'm so sorry for your sadness. That's because our pets are part of our family. My thoughts and hugs are with you and praying for great and wonderful things to come your way.

EmileeHope said...

Wow...You had her a long time. What a wonderful friend she must have been. Sorry you had to make such a hard decision.

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

All my hugs, kind thoughts and best wishes are winging their way to you.

Hugs, Euhporia

Jennifer said...

APP, I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved horse; her little guy too. Honestly I fought tears reading about him. I'll be praying for both of you.

Jody said...

I know what you are going thru--after 30 years I still dream of my sweet girl--and they are all good dreams. I wish the same for you--It will come in time.

quiltycat said...

All my thoughts are for you...I have a horse too and call her my sweet as you do...Hugs.
nichi

Doris Sturm said...

How very, very sad for you and Gillie's son. How old is he? Will he be the only horse out there on the pasture now? Maybe he'll need a companion to help him over the hurdle of not having his mom anymore.
I'm so sorry you had to make this decision, APP, but loving an animal usually entails having to say good bye. As I was reading your story, I could feel your pain and I know that some day I will be going through similar feelings because my boy's getting on in years and I don't want him to go since he's all I have - but, life goes on and the heart will learn to cope so that hopefully, all remain, is happy memories.
God bless you and I will pray for good things to come into your life real soon.
With Love,
Doris and Gizzy

Sherry said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Gillee. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sherry

Mona said...

There are indeed angels amongst us. I'm sorry for your loss.

Jo in TAS said...

A very sad post, I'm so sorry you've had to say goodbuy to your sweet girl. She sounds like she was a much loved companion. Her lttle boy will need your love and kindness in getting him through his loss too. Time to play those games with him :-)
Hugs
Jo

Mad Quilter said...

So sorry. Rest in peace beautiful one.

Kathy said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is never easy having to say goodbye to a loyal friend....

Evelyn said...

Don't think of the sad part, stay positive and remember all the wonderful times you had together. I know how you feel I too said goodbye to my old girl(29 years old) a fortnight ago, and her paddock mate of 14 years is behaving the same as Gillees son he will settle down in time.It will get better.

Nanci said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss of a special pet and it is so sad to hear how hard her baby is taking it. It is just so hard to deal with losing our pets that we get so attached to. I hope the baby boy is better soon and you can throw all your love in his direction.

Beansieleigh said...

Hi M.. I am so sorry to read this tonight. Where normally I love how blogging brings us together, it is times like this when I'm more sorry we aren't all closer, so that we can actually BE THERE to help more, in any way(s) we can. Just love and take care of that baby, as best you can, because you know that's what Mama would want. I'm sure God's made a beautiful green pasture for Gilley to run and play like a youngster again.. no fences, with beautiful wild flowers everywhere, and nothing but sun and soft cool breezes.. Imagine how beautiful Heaven must be for her right now... My prayers are on the way for both you and her baby boy.. ((Love~N~Hugs)) ~tina

AshTreeCottage said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost horses too and I still miss every single one. Gillee had a wonderful life with you. Now we must pray for and concentrate on her son, because it's his turn now and she lives through him. You are his mama now. Nurture him and love him and he will bond with you and get through this tough time. Do this in honor of sweet Gillee.

Much Love,
Susan and Bentley
xxoo

West Michigan Quilter said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Loosing a loved pet is as painful as losing a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

judycinnc said...

I feel your pain so deeply APP - my heart full of love goes out to you. I hope "baby boy" will learn to cope. Thankfully you have such wonderful and beautiful memories of Gillee.

Yarni Gras! said...

I am so sad to hear of your loss. Horses are such social creatures...many people really don't understand how dependent they are on their inner circle. Just know you did the right thing...the choice to help her and not let her go down. It takes courage to do that, to not allow an animal to linger for your benefit. By giving lots of love and attention to her boy, you will also heal....together.

Cathy said...

My dear sweet, sweet friend,
I am crying my eyes out!! I know this was a very hard decision for you and one that had to be made. You did the right thing ~ but unfortunately, doing the right thing is often painful. I can't even imagine the pain you are experiencing, but I can and will pray for you.
I love you, my dear friend! :)
Hugz,
CJ♥♥