Sunday, May 3, 2009

Everyone should follow Cowboy Rules

Cowboy rules: As most of my close bloggy friends know.... I am a True Red Neck and a Cowgirl.. These rules are nothing new to me!! These rules are want I believe in.. so I thought I would share them with all of you :)

Cowboy rules for Arizona, Texas , Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho , Kansas and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80, I-70, I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-25, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat . . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others ( me I'm posting it on my blog) and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!


Julie Isa said...

I knew I was living in the wrong state, in the wrong city, and driving the wrong car (minivan, ugh!) I was meant to live in the mid west i knew it before and i know it now...Amen to all of it and btw, to all those who visit, yes the mason jars are my glasses!

Suzi said...

I can so relate to this one! California kids violate most, if not all, of these rules. My kids are not going to have that opportunity to do so. As it is we don't have any gaming systems in our house, nor do we intend to. Our boys are all about The Great Outdoors and I intend to keep it that way. Thanks for sharing.

Paula said...

My little '68 Shasta caravan isn't called "Key-Lime Cowgirl" for nuthin'! Yeah!

Librarynan said...

Way to go, Marcel! All true (and seconded!)... At risk of sounding like a NIMBY, I've become a whole lot less forgiving of folks who move to the country "for the peace and quiet", and then #%@* it up with their SUVs and ATVs. Our ATV is a Quarter Horse... and yes, the pickup is MINE!

Dolores said...

Thanks for the post. I loved it, got a kick out of it. I live in the big city but I love the western sentiment. I have no car (use public transit) and I have no cell phone. It's not that important to get hold of me 24/7. I don't need to know what everyone is doing with their lives because I have my own to live.

Tulsi Esplin said...

These are so funny!! It sounds like Utah, too. My grandpa is a real cowboy and would agree with these. I don't eat fish or game meat myself, but my family fish and hunt while I shop.

Marga said...

Sure enjoyed the posting,thanks a bunch for the fun of it.
And keep it country,thats what life is all about.
Marga in Berlin,Germany

Yarni Gras! said...

*sigh* I REALLY miss being a cowgirl

Emily said...

Hello: can any one help me locate a pattern for a baby quilt called a "day / night quilt" on one side is a mouse in a field. there is a sun in the sky and the back ground is hills. most of the fabric was calico, on the reverse side was the mouse and the same field and hills at night. instead of the sun there is a moon. The green hills are now navy calico's and the night sky is now dwwp indigo with stars..
I had this quilt in the 80's for my kids. now I would like to make or purchase it for my grandchildren.
any help would be appreciated.